throwing another surprise party again. Its just a sick way of getting your hopes up to believe that someone else is gonna have the same consideration to make you feel as special when the reality is your gonna get slapped in the face with the fact that not everyone has the same priorities for you as you do for them. It just feels like God, Karma, mother nature, allah or whoever is controlling the fucking world has it out for me every year on this one day thats suppost to be about me. One year my bf at the time cheated on me, the next year my so called friend made me cry because i didn’t reciprocate his feelings and made me feel like shit for it, the year after that my bf at the time completely ignored my bday after he made me buy a shit load of weed for him and now this year i go completely out of my way to make you feel special and i get shit. I know for most of you probably have heard me bitch about this but its just that im tired of waiting for my own special day where im the one being spoiled and its all about me just this one time just fucking once. But i guess it just goes to show that bday celebrations are just not meant for me so I vow to never tell anyone again when my bday is or what im doing. From now on I dont have a bday i just age every year. Point blank.